How Not To Be A Supermodel

It’s the second you’ve all been ready for*: my first ever guide, How Not To Be A Supermodel, is offered for pre-order! Here!

An precise guide that it is possible for you to to carry in your fingers. Or, for those who choose my dulcet tones, hearken to along with your ears. You’ve liked my revealing life updates, through the years, and also you’ve diligently learn by my farcical tales of woe (bear in mind after I nearly by chance penetrated myself with a shower faucet?): now it’s time to let me take you all the way in which again to 2001, after I was a mere slip of a factor, leaving my regulation diploma to turn out to be an immediately wealthy and well-known supermodel.

You may name How Not To Be A Supermodel a memoir, as a result of I wrote it about myself and my reminiscences and the experiences I had as a vogue mannequin within the noughties, however my God that makes it sound very severe. “Memoir” makes it sound as if I wrote my guide within the 1800s. Within the drawing room, while mom did her needlepoint and Eliza practised on the pianoforte.

And let me ask you this: would a memoir, to your thoughts, embrace a narrative about by chance occurring a luxurious five-day vacation with a person you didn’t know? Would a memoir usually have a chapter referred to as Physique Like a Turgid Penis? Or – maintain on a second whereas I rustle by my notes – I’m Drunk and I’m Not Carrying Knickers? No it will not.

So sure, I wrote it about me and sure, it’s set previously, however don’t make the error of pondering that any painful soul-searching went into this guide. Let’s not get the improper finish of the stick, right here. I didn’t write it while sobbing periodically right into a starched linen kerchief, dabbing my eyes when it acquired to the insufferable bits: it is a rip-roaring riot of a trip by a decade of the inconceivable eventualities and surprising occasions that life as a non-supermodel threw up, and it’s chaotic and blundering and humorous and steadily ridiculous.

Pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel

OK, there are poignant moments. After all there are. In actual fact I used to be particularly informed, after I acquired the guide deal, that I needed to embrace the bits that might create one thing of a speaking level. (As if me inadvertently changing into concerned in an impromptu intercourse present or nearly falling into shark-infested waters wasn’t sufficient of a speaking level.) And so sure, I’ve put within the troublesome bits in addition to all the elements that may probably have you ever spitting out your espresso and embarrassing your self on public transport.

However largely it is a snort-inducing, extremely correct** account of all of the methods through which I did not turn out to be a supermodel. My obvious bodily shortcomings, my character defects and my spectacular means to draw chaos and catastrophe in nearly any scenario.

You’ll be able to pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel now – the discharge date is twenty ninth August. It has already been heralded as THE ONLY BOOK YOU NEED TO READ THIS YEAR!*** and so I feel it’s a fairly secure wager that you just’ll find it irresistible. Pre-orders actually matter, apparently, and so for those who solely ever click on on one hyperlink I publish then please make it this one. I’ll be perpetually in your debt.

Pre-order your copy of How Not To Be A Supermodel here

I’ll be again with extra posts in regards to the guide and in regards to the strategy of writing it as a result of it has truthfully been the most effective, most satisfying factor I’ve ever accomplished in my grownup life. In the event you’ve adopted me for some time then you definately’ll know that writing was what I had began to do on the finish of my modelling profession; running a blog was a really comfortable accident that took off into one thing nice and I’ve an excellent and rewarding profession in social media due to it, however I’ve been hounding a guide deal for a really very long time****. It’s a correct “full circle” second for me.